Confusion

Why, oh why? Why not? Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my life- where it is and how I can get it to where I want it. The goal I have for myself for the next year and a half are to go to Sandia High School and start my music career. Well I don’t live near Sandia, so first, I have to start my career and raise enough money to move to an apartment nearby, but the problem is that I’m struggling with my career. Do I focus on that now, or do I focus on school first? I can’t do both. My gut says to focus on my career, but everyone else tells me to stay in school. The only reason I want to go to Sandia next year in the first place is because I have a very strong feeling about it like I’m going to meet someone important there. Otherwise, I have much interest in school.

Lately, I’ve been having strange dreams involving some sort of monster(s); it’s different every time. I’m starting to think they’re telling me what I need to do to get my life on track, considering I’ve killed a monster in each one. Maybe they’re telling me to listen to my gut? To eliminate outside influences on my decision-making process? Maybe I should. Maybe I should start taking control of my life instead just wishing for it to be better. But it still doesn’t feel right…

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