“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
When was the last time that sentence accurately described your life?
It started in April. It was a time of confusion and grief, a time when I was really starting to miss my ex-boyfriend, Jessie, while I was trying to date another guy, Michael. The longer I was with Michael, the more my heart ached for Jessie, and that really sucked because I was also beginning to really enjoy Michael’s company, but it just wasn’t the same.
Michael’s a great guy, a truly loyal friend and helper. Even in that time of grief, he stuck with me and helped me get over Jessie- as much as it hurt him that I was still stuck on him. I was- and still am- happy to have him in my life. That’s where the “best of my life” situation was; the worst was the feelings I still had for Jessie, and knowing that I would probably never see him again. That was pure torture. However, I find that the greatest lessons in life come from the greatest pain. I learned to not hold on to the past, but rather to be glad it happened, for now I know better. I know how to better love a person, and, more importantly, myself. I know that in order to live happily, you must first live through pain, suffering, and grief.
Michael and I are still together- not as boyfriends, but just as friends. We decided we were not meant for each other in that way, but rather in the sense that we will be friends forever, despite who we date. As good as things may look, I sense another wave of “best of life, worst of life” coming, and yet another great lesson from it. It’s not easy being psychic.